Not Back to School Picnic

Our Not Back to School picnic illustrated why we love home educating so much and showed the diversity of the home educating community.

Families arrived, parents set out picnic blankets and food, while the children played at climbing trees, building dens, parachute games, football, hide and seek and taking photographs of each other.

The youngest there were babies, the eldest approaching the end of their primary school years.

Some families were at the start of their home educating journey, some have been doing it for years.

Some children had never set foot in a school setting, others started school then were withdrawn after several years.

Some families unschool, some follow a curriculum.

We all sat under the trees in the park and watched our children play together.

Beeswax and Scrabble

This afternoon has been one of discovery for both Small and me.

Having watched me play Scrabble online Small asked if we could play scrabble together, so I bought a Junior Scrabble set on eBay after nearly fainting at the price of board games. We helped each other by suggesting words and Small was thrilled to beat me!

A new activity for both of us was making candles from sheets of beeswax. While visiting family last week I stumbled across a shop selling waldorf-style materials and I took the opportunity to buy a few bits and pieces... I justified that I was saving money on postage fees so it was worth some spur of the moment shopping!

I had suggested making candles a few days ago but Small often resists trying new activities so I simply sat down and made a candle myself. Curiosity overcame him so he had a go himself and was proud of his creation. For a lad who finds new activities rather daunting it was wonderful to see him so pleased with his efforts.

No cook playdough

No cook playdough -

● 1 cup plain flour
● 1 cup cornflour
(Alternatively omit the plain flour and use 2 cups cornflour for a silky texture)
● 1 cup salt
● 1 cup water or enough to form dough
● Food colouring

Mix together the flour and salt with enough water to form a firm dough.

Separate into bowls, one for each colour you want to make.

Add food colouring and knead until smooth. If the dough is sticky or feels grainy, sprinkle some cornflour over it and knead well.

Unschooling housework?!

We don't insist on Small helping with housework, but we do explain that it is helpful when we all work together to keep our house nice to live in.

Sometimes I will ask if Small can help me with something and he will refuse, in which case I try not to force the issue.

Sometimes he is very helpful - in the last few days he helped me cook dinner, laid the table, took his dishes into the kitchen, helped me clean the bathroom, helped me put away clean laundry and put dirty laundry into baskets.

He may not do any housework for a week now, but that's OK. When he does help, he does it because he wants to and not because I have forced him.

Work in progress

To those who read pages about home education but are just lacking the belief in themselves to step into a new lifestyle... Take it from me, you are able to educate your child!

You are not replacing your role of 'parent' with one of 'teacher'. Life just carries on as it always has - your helpless baby developed into the child they have become. They will continue to flourish with you as facilitator.

But before you go any further, realise that it will not all be rainbows and unicorns. I remember trudging across the city in the rain, spending two hours on several buses to reach a home ed group and thinking, 'If Small went to school, I could be at home with a cup of tea right now.' You will have moments of thinking you must be crazy. Moments of doubt, wondering whether you do 'enough'.

And I'm afraid that embarking on a life of home education and respectful parenting doesn't mean that harmony will always reign in your home. There will be times you look back on the day and kick yourself for how you handled it. For us, today was less than perfect. We did some housework and crafts but in the evening we were all tired and under the weather. Small shouted at Big, Big shouted at Small, I shouted at both... In my short experience, this is par for the course. Parenting brings doubts and guilt enough anyway, without the added pressure of stepping away from the norm.

Get yourself online and find other families who HE and/or who try to parent similarly to you. They will remind you, when your confidence is wobbling, that you are doing fine. Then when they wobble, you can return the favour.

I love the autonomous life we lead and would recommend it to anyone who is curious. Just don't expect to click your fingers and everything to fall into place. It's all a work in progress.

Why schools are failing our children

"Schools are still organised on factory lines - ringing bells, separate facilities, separate subjects. We still educate children by batches, as of the most important thing about them is date of manufacture."

If you have never seen or heard this talk by Sir Ken Robinson, take ten minutes out of your day and watch it. He explains clearly and bluntly why the school system sets so many children up to fail.

Change of approach

The language we use to describe our children affects the way we think about them. If you describe your child as difficult, manipulative or similar adjectives, you are unwittingly affecting the way you view them.

If an adult figured out a plan to achieve a goal, you might call them determined. If a friend gets upset because something has gone wrong in her life you would comfort her, not ignore her because she is being manipulative and needs to 'learn'.

It can be hard to keep your cool when your child is having a meltdown over something seemingly minor, but to them it is important. If we can remember that, perhaps we can be more compassionate and choose less negative language to describe their behaviour.

Some of the characteristics of your child that make parenting hard work may be useful in years to come, when we hope they will choose a path in life, resist peer pressure and be true to their emotions. They just haven't learned to fine tune their reactions yet. It is not our job to train the determination or emotion out of them, but to model more appropriate ways to express those emotions.

Try switching from 'tantrum' to 'meltdown', or 'manipulative' to 'determined'. No-one is perfect and every parent has days where they know they could have handled things better, but a new approach might just help.